Learning to listen to a child…

I was the proud owner of a new business, my own boss. I thought it all out, more time at home, more time with my child, more time with my family. Now let me go ahead and bust the bubble. If you have a full-time brick and mortar service or retail oriented business that is successful or requires a certain amount of open hours then every client is your boss, you are not your own boss, you do not set your own hours.  Sure you can do those things, but if it doesn’t suit the clients they will find somewhere else to shop to suit their needs.

I didn’t want to make the same mistakes with my little that I had previous so since he loved his day care I let him still attend, but I got to drop him off usually and sometimes got to pick him up. He loved seeing me more and I felt that we were reconnecting and he was a lot happier. But I learned in my absence he was not as happy as he wants was at his daycare and before long I got a note that another child had bitten my child. It was a small bite and not very noticeable and I felt like the daycare had taken appropriate action, but I kept him out of “school” for a few days until I was sure. He went back to school and everything seemed fine, but before long the same child took a bite out of my sons scalp and all I got was a note. When asked what would be done, they said if it happens again they will place my son in a different classroom (a lower age group of children). Why my son, he didn’t bite anybody. They said they couldn’t put the biter in with younger children. For months my little one stayed with family or went to work with me. We tried to make it fun, but he would get bored be there on long days as my business we open 12 hours a day. It was incredibly stressful on all of us.

Time passed and I was told the daycare had a new owner/director and the biter was no longer there, so I he started to attend again, but my child was incredibly unhappy. I thought it was just because he had gotten used to being with me or with family. He would say he didn’t like the other kids, but I ignored his pleas because he was just acting like a “child” and got spoiled staying with me and family, plus this was normal, right? One day I went to pick him up early and my little was on the playground, but over in the corner and looked sadder then I have ever seen him in his whole life. He looked broken and fearful. I questioned his teachers to find out why he wasn’t playing with the other students. They said your child is really shy. I had seen my child interact with other children within our circle and complete strangers children at jungle gyms, my child was not shy. I told them, my child doesn’t have a shy bone in his body. They just struggled their shoulders. I questioned my child as to what was going on, but he said nothing. But the pleas not to go to school started getting even worse. A couple days later I got a call from one of the teachers at my sons school who said I am family of the owners of the daycare and I work here, but I felt you should know there are some bad things going on at this school that I don’t approve of but I need my job so I don’t say anything, but I your son is too sweet to be here and if it were my child I would get him out of here. I then talked to my son and determined he was being bullied and hurt by other students, but I honestly have no idea what was going on in that daycare/school.  I just know after removing my son, within no time the place was shutdown and I am uncertain why to this day.

I learned a valuable lesson from this. My child had something to say and I needed to work on our communication.