Tragedy Strikes

Long days at work with my toddler became the norm with my husband working and me busy as a new business owner. We made a play area and my dad and hubby would come and get him when they could to give him and I a break.  My mom had become to sick to care for him anymore, although we didn’t know why and happily I became pregnant. All seemed to be going well and then we went to our check-up to find out we were having another boy, but everything was not okay. I was dilated and my water sac was bulging. I spent the next few weeks in the hospital upside down practically trying to keep my baby boy. The doctor kept trying to get me to abort, which I would not and facing the fact that I would probably die. My husband was by my bedside nearly every night. My little was staying with my parents, which was difficult with my mom being sick, so I didn’t get to visit him much and when he would come you could tell it was very stressful for him. He just wanted his parents home. After a few stressful weeks in the hospital my little boy was born. 1 lb 2 oz and 12 inches long with a beautiful headful of hair. He died in my arms a little after an hour being born. We buried him on a Wednesday next to my grandma.  I spent the next 4 months in a lawn chair on my front lawn reading my Bible and watching my little play. I finally had to go back to work, but it was difficult because I could not sleep due to the nightly nightmares I had reliving the delivery.  (maybe another time I can blog more on this, but this all my heart can take for now on the topic of losing my youngest little).